It was Day 6 of my brave new “follow your dreams” journey when I started googling “how to become a tree so no one expects anything from you.”
There I was, in my pajamas at 2 p.m., refreshing my bank app like it owed me an apology. The fridge made a weird noise, and I genuinely wondered if we could afford to keep it plugged in. My kids were out here acting like snack entitlement was a constitutional right, and I was seriously considering selling my kidney on Facebook Marketplace (lightly used, lots of emotional baggage).
In that moment, I regretted everything. Leaving my stable job? Dumb. Thinking I could thrive on passion alone? Hilarious. Me, the woman who can barely afford a luxury brand of toothpaste, trying to “make it” in the entertainment industry? Somebody cue the circus music.
But just as I was about to email my ex-employer and offer them my soul in exchange for a salary and a working printer… something happened.
I walked into the recording studio and recorded a line as a sassy Spanish lady(speaking AFRIKAANS). And I LAUGHED. Out loud. The deep kind. The kind of laugh that makes you forget about your bank balance and remember: this is what being alive feels like.
The regret? Gone. The fear? Still there, sure — I’m not insane. But now I wear it like an accessory. A very on-trend, slightly panicked, creative person accessory.
Because passion won’t always pay the bills, but it will keep your spirit from filing for emotional bankruptcy. And that, my friends, is worth it.